So…What is happening?

First I was going to write about how I was tired of seeing comments (generally from a bunch of dudes) about how teachers are lazy and “the worst” because we have the audacity to request a basic level of safety when considering opening schools during a pandemic. If teaching and education in general was a male dominated field, would these fools think the same? I’ll let you decide.

Then, I was going to write about how scary but absolutely right the idea of a strike was and is, and our strength is in our sheer numbers, especially in New York City. But due to a back door deal made by our union president that actually does not solve any problems, the talk of a strike has died down.

Instead I will just reflect on what a roller coaster this summer has been. I have never had a summer where I have felt this level of anxiety about returning to school in September. I have never felt less prepared, even as a new Teaching Fellow for what to expect on the first day of school. These ideas and feeling have been simmering below the surface each an every day.

And then I look at how my daughters have blossomed. Their vocabulary, their physicality, their awareness of the world. I don’t think I would be nearly this anxious if I was just worried about myself. I don’t want anyone to get sick, obviously, but I am terrified of bringing it home to my husband and daughters. And to also say we now can’t see our parents, because of me? Well, that sucks. And what’s worse is that no one seems to care. The union doesn’t care. The Mayor sure as hell doesn’t care. My school admin’s hands are tied by what the city is telling them to do. I don’t have a medical condition that allows me to work fully remotely. And I feel like I’m being punished for being healthy.

I did everything I was supposed to do. I stayed home. i limited contact with at risk family members. I pulled my daughters from daycare during the lock down. I run with a mask on even though it drives me crazy. I drive instead of taking the subway even though it’s harder. And for what? To STILL be in an unsafe position because of my job? That’s ridiculous.

See everyone back on the 8th.